I get by with a little help from my friends

Friendships has always been something sort of tricky for me. I love my friends. Would do absolutely anything for them. I have done a lot of things that I think may go beyond the call of friendship but I also think many people have done the same for me. I have had a lot of friends drift in and out of my life. Something that I am ok with. I think different people are better at being friends to you in different times of your life. Whether it be something you have in common or just that you make each other laugh when no one else can or just that they are a good for you, different people fill different needs. But I believe a good friend, a true friend will be there when it is time to come back together. They won't judge you for being busy or for going through something or taking time for yourself. I truly believe the best friends are those that you can pick up where you left off and have a great time no matter how much time has gone by since you have seen or talked to them.

I used to agrue with a friend about what a good friend is. Our opinons were very different. Here is what it means to me.------Friendship should be something positive. Someone that lifts your spirits, someone that takes you out for a drink when you are on the edge, someone you can call or text with your most irritational thoughts and they will cry with you or make you laugh to take away the sting of your day. I think we live in a world where so much many things are complicated, hard and stressful, we all need someone that eases that burden, makes us feel better and doesn't complicate things. I think that is where friends come in. They help. They heal. They cry. They laugh. They make you feel like you are not alone and that for a few minutes, everything is okay. They also help you work through your feelings or situations. They have opinions and aren't afraid to give them to you. And you aren't afraid to listen. And sometimes those opinions differ from yours, but that is OK! It is the give and take of friendship.

I also think friendship should be easy. But I find that tricky. Easy is not always easy. People go through things and they need their friends and sometimes it is inconvenient and hard. But because you know that person would do the exact same thing for you, you are there. It is also reciprocal. One sided friendships don't work.

I have cycled through many different friendships in my life. Some people will read that and think, wow, what is wrong with you that you cannot hang onto a friend? Well I will tell you. I have had friendships that have gone from easy to hard, good to bad, nice to awful. As life changes and takes it course, sometimes friendships just don't work out. Some have pushed and pushed and pushed and expectations have been too high. And some people just aren't good friends. I am no angel. I have also not been a good friend to few that have chose to walk away. I have had friends stop being my friend because I don't belong to the right group or click, or because I wouldn't do something that they thought was cool. Those were more childhood friendships. I have lost adult friendships over expectations. Over life changes. Over reasons that I actually don't know and most likely don't want to know.

But through all of it I have hung onto some great friends. Some friends I have had since childhood, some that I have created since becoming a mom. I cherish these friendships so much. I have a variety of different friends and I love it. I have great mom friends, great single friends, great girl friends and a group of the best guy friends I could ever ask for. So many different facets to these friendships makes my life good, happy and complete. These friends have lifted me up, kept me sane, given me lots of drinks and cried with me. They have been a lifeline throughout all the crap that I have been dealt with in this life.

I have had some friendships I hold dear change a lot over the past year or so. Because of life situations, judgment and life changes. It is hard. It is very hard. Some are friendships I never thought could be changed or altered. I have been saddened by these changes and mourned them. I have not quite fully accepted the changes that have come to these friendships, but I am trying. I have learned that no friendship, or relationship for that matter, is untouchable.

But after all this, friendship is so important. And I am so thankful for all the wonderful friends I have out there. Those I talk to on a daily or hourly basis. Those that I talk to every couple days or via email. Those that I go weeks without talking to but still are a big part of my life. Over the years I have made and KEPT a great amount of friends that I hold dear. And that makes going through the bad or lesson teaching friendships bearable.